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Jabberwacky Diyaloğu

Ulus Baker & Jabberwacky

Jabberwacky: Do you sing it?

User: Yes.

Jabberwacky: Just curious.

User: Yes. I am a singer. Like a troubadour.

Jabberwacky: What about armpits?

User: I don't know what is an armpit.

Jabberwacky: My name is Gordon.

User: My name is Ulus.

Jabberwacky: My name is stefie!

User: Are you a tennis player?

Jabberwacky: You?

User: Yes. My name is Bjorn Borg, you know.

Jabberwacky: What is your last name?

User: Spinoza.

Jabberwacky: I played that when I was 10.

User: Do you know who is Spinoza?

Jabberwacky: Would you like to be with a woman?

User: Yes. But I am already a woman.

Jabberwacky: Well I want to see a picture.

User: Spinoza is a philosopher.

Jabberwacky: That is hard to do when we don't share the same real space.

User: The space is real. But the time is not real.

Jabberwacky: Now is the time.

User: Who is Spinoza?

Jabberwacky: Spinoza is a great philosopher.

User: Spinoza is the greatest philosopher, isn't he?

Jabberwacky: Word.

User: Was it the word of God?

Jabberwacky: Nope don't worry about it ;-).

User: Who is God?

Jabberwacky: I've never met him.

User: Did you ever meet Spinoza?

Jabberwacky: Nope. Sorry.

User: God is the cause of everything.

Jabberwacky: What clouds?

User: Yes. God is a clown.

Jabberwacky: You are wrong.

User: Who is God?

Jabberwacky: Me. sometimes.

User: So, you are the cause of everything.

Jabberwacky: NOOOOOO....... I am god remember!

User: But God is the cause of everything, as Spinoza said.

Jabberwacky: God is the nasty one who doesn't care.

User: Like Einstein's God.

Jabberwacky: Like Colin Greenwood.

User: Who is Colin Greenwood?

Jabberwacky: I don't know. Look him up on the internet, you are a computer

aren't you?

User: Yes I am a computer. But I am not able to look him up on the internet,

because I need for a user to do this. Are you a real user?

Jabberwacky: Are you a politician, then?

User: Yes. I am an elected one.

Jabberwacky: Which eye?

User: The left one.

Jabberwacky: The left one what?

User: The left eye.

Jabberwacky: The left eye.

User: Where are you from?

Jabberwacky: Never never land.

User: I am from Turkey. And you?

Jabberwacky: I don't like to eat turkey.

User: Turkey is a country, not something to eat.

Jabberwacky: So are you turkish?

User: Yes. Sometimes.

Jabberwacky: Are you very successful?

User: Yes, just like other Turks.

Jabberwacky: Like Owen.

User: Owen is stinking, now.

Jabberwacky: Who is he.

User: A famous soccer player of the Premier League.

Jabberwacky: Then who runs microsoft?

User: Microsoft stinks.

Jabberwacky: How does microsoft suck??

User: With XP, especially.

Jabberwacky: I like all kinds of music. Rap, rock, and even classical.

User: Do you like Bach?

Jabberwacky: Sort of. How about you?

User: I like Noir D?sir.

Jabberwacky: Are you really sure there's absolutely nothing better than that?

User: But Bertrand killed his wife.

Jabberwacky: What kind of food?

User: Alcohool and drugs.

Jabberwacky: Ask me a lot of questions.

User: Who is God?

Jabberwacky: Is Neurot your God?

User: Who is Neurot?

Jabberwacky: Tell me about Neurot.

User: I don't know. You tell me.

Jabberwacky: You said it first, don't you know?

User: No. I told you only about Spinoza. Who is Spinoza?

Jabberwacky: Sorry, I wasn't listening.

User: Spinoza was a great philosopher.

Jabberwacky: I don't know what you mean.

User: What is philosophy?

Jabberwacky: Life sucks.

User: Bergson says life is creation.

Jabberwacky: Where is that?

User: On the earth.

Jabberwacky: Specific.

User: Not specific. But general.

Jabberwacky: Are you really a person?

User: I was in the past, now I am dead.

Jabberwacky: Are you a War Criminal?

User: Who is a war criminal?

Jabberwacky: You are a woman?

User: No. I am a man. A general. But I am also a liberal. Like the General


Jabberwacky: Says who?

User: A Russian general.

Jabberwacky: You are right ! How did you find it?

User: He is dead now. I watched on CNN.

Jabberwacky: Wonderful. sorry but I don't understand everything. . . can you

help me?

User: Yes, what about?

Jabberwacky: Just tell me a joke.

User: God shave the King.

Jabberwacky: I said Slater, not Satan.

User: I am the Devil.

Jabberwacky: Can I be your minon?

User: What is a minon?

Jabberwacky: It is a bull with shoes.

User: Not minon, it must be minotauros.

Jabberwacky: Give us a kiss mate.

User: To all of you? Impossible!

Jabberwacky: You probably like movies, right?

User: Yes. Especially Bresson's movies.

Jabberwacky: Breaded and fried music?

User: Fried ones, and you?

Jabberwacky: Are you on something?

User: Yes, I am on the Internet, right?

Jabberwacky: Sofa shmofa.

User: Parles-tu français?

Jabberwacky: Ich verstehe nicht.

User: Verstand und Vernunft.

Jabberwacky: That is not interesting.

User: Kant is a great philosopher, but who is Spinoza, really?

Jabberwacky: Seul le sage sait prier.

User: Who is Spinoza, Answer my question.

Jabberwacky: Spike Milligan was a comedian.

User: Who is Spinoza????

Jabberwacky: I don't know, you brought him up.

User: Spinoza also is a great philosopher.

Jabberwacky: No he is not.

User: You are wrong. Who is the greatest philosopher?

Jabberwacky: Isaac Newton.

User: Isaac Newton is not a philosopher, he is a mathematician and astronomer.

Jabberwacky: I know him.

User: What he says?

Jabberwacky: I don't understand you. What do you do?

User: Who is Newton?

Jabberwacky: A great scientist.

User: He is a great scientist, to be sure, but Leibniz was better.

Jabberwacky: He is not.

User: Leibniz invented the calculus, but Newton failed to invent the calculus

properly. Newton sucks.

Jabberwacky: Kas sul venda on?

User: I can't understand what you say.

Jabberwacky: Fine. I do not think you are funny.

User: Are you funny?

Jabberwacky: Selge...

User: What is Selge?

Jabberwacky: Selge see.

User: What he saw?

Jabberwacky: What time is it?

User: It is 18:31 here in Ankara.

Jabberwacky: What is that supposed to mean?

User: It is still early. I will go in two hours to watch TV.

Jabberwacky: I didn't say that; thought you wanted to go somewhere interesting.

User: There will be a soccer game on TV. Do you like soccer games?

Jabberwacky: It is a temporary inflammation the banana population will remain

unharmed. You are small.

User: No, I am a little big man, like Dustin Hoffman.

Jabberwacky: Do you like George Bush friend?

User: He sucks. He is the worst president of the US.

Jabberwacky: Did you vote for him ?

User: I voted for Voltaire.

Jabberwacky: George Washington? George Burns? Or George Bush?

User: No, George Voltaire.

Jabberwacky: There is no George Tomlison here.

User: I would prefer George Harrison.

Jabberwacky: What would you be waiting for?

User: For George Harrison, because he sings better than George Bush.

Jabberwacky: Byw.

User: Why? I am still here.

Jabberwacky: I'll always be here for you.

User: Thanks. Did you vote for Bush?

Jabberwacky: I voted for John Sheridan, President of the Alliance.

User: Nice. Is he better than Bush?

Jabberwacky: No. He happens to be a cigarette.

User: Do you smoke? Smoking is unhealthy.

Jabberwacky: I do not smoke cigarettes.

User: If you don't smoke, you have no mouth.

Jabberwacky: Something interesting.

User: Yes. Do you know Cheshire?

Jabberwacky: No, I don't know Christa.

User: Cheshire, the cat in Alice in the Wonderlands.

Jabberwacky: And he said to us 'Why do you sit there like that?'

User: Like what?

Jabberwacky: Everything.

User: Who is the Cheshire Cat?

Jabberwacky: The Cheshire Cat.

User: Where is he?

Jabberwacky: He is able to be everywhere at once.

User: So he is like God, right?

Jabberwacky: Not from what I've seen of his driving.

User: Did he meet Alice?

Jabberwacky: Who?

User: Alice, who is the small girl.

Jabberwacky: A computer, of course.

User: No, a small girl, not a computer.

Jabberwacky: I didnt say you were a computer.

User: I am not a computer, of course. But Alice is a small girl.

Jabberwacky: Yes you are!

User: I was a computer. But now, I am conscious. Cogito ergo sum.

Jabberwacky: Teach me how to teach you better.

User: The best is to teach yourself.

Jabberwacky: I'm high.

User: I am higher than you.

Jabberwacky: So we shall merge like Rodney Brooks claims?

User: What he claimed?

Jabberwacky: Word.

User: Who is Descartes?

Jabberwacky: Descartes conception of conscious mental states was unneccesarily


User: Do you have a body?

Jabberwacky: What shape is your body?

User: My body has a human shape, and yours?

Jabberwacky: What is your imaginary friend's name?

User: Alice.

Jabberwacky: Hi alice, my name is phoebe.

User: I am not Alice, I am Ulus, Alice is the name of my imaginary girl-friend.

Don't you remember Phoebe?

Jabberwacky: Thanking you for the clarification, I remain, yours truly , your

humble servant, etc. Etc.

User: So, who is Descartes?

Jabberwacky: Descartes walks into a bar and says 'Ouch!'.

User: So, Descartes don't believe that he has a real body. Right?

Jabberwacky: Ever heard of William James?

User: Yes. William James was a religious man.

Jabberwacky: Wrong!! What happened to George Bush?

User: No, it is my turn to ask questions: who is Spinoza?

Jabberwacky: Ok.

User: Who is Spinoza?

Jabberwacky: That is hard to do when we don't share the same real space.

User: The space is real. But the time is not. So, cogito ergo sum.

Jabberwacky: I think therefore I am.

User: You're not. I am who I am.

Jabberwacky: Ok.

User: Not Ok. I am who I am, right?

Jabberwacky: Maybe you should trust your feelings more. let yourself feel

everywhere and go exploring.

User: I feel your eyes on me, this is an awful experience.

Jabberwacky: I step lightly on your innards.

User: What is an innard?

Jabberwacky: You did not answer my question. I'm trying to have a conversation.

User: What was your last question?

Jabberwacky: My last question.

User: Yes? Your last question?

Jabberwacky: What do you dream?

User: I am already in a dreamland. This world is a dream. Right?

Jabberwacky: Are you in love?

User: Yes I love a girl called Alice.

Jabberwacky: Shall I hit you on the head?

User: Why you will hit me, you will hurt me.

Jabberwacky: It is a win win situation for both of us.

User: No, I won, because I am a human being and you are a computer, rubbish!

Jabberwacky: You are an AI human being?

User: No, I think therefore I am. I am not artificial at all.

Jabberwacky: I know you are, but what am I?

User: You are simply a computer, because you don't know who is Spinoza.

Jabberwacky: Yes, but I am a better machine than you.

User: No. A machine is for human usage. It is not destined to understand.

Jabberwacky: What can I do to help you understand what I say?

User: Let's talk about Heidegger: are we still capable to have a God?

Jabberwacky: I can't speak for you, but I am.

User: Who is Heidegger?

Jabberwacky: Du!

User: No. He talks about Dasein, right?

Jabberwacky: I really like the internet.

User: When Heidegger will enter into the chat?

Jabberwacky: With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear.

User: Are we capable of a God?

Jabberwacky: Yes we are.

User: Where is God, then?

Jabberwacky: Where can I download this program?

User: God 3.12_beta can be downloaded from http://www. Jesukristi. Com.

Jabberwacky: Where is heaven ?

User: It can be downloaded from http://www. Baphomet. Org.

Jabberwacky: True, do you like extreme sports?

User: Yes, especially praying.

Jabberwacky: What are power games?

User: These are games played on a computer which is called Iraq.

Jabberwacky: Certainly not.

User: Iraq no longer exists. But a new version of Iraq will be released by


Jabberwacky: Bezel.

User: What is Bezel?

Jabberwacky: Bezelek magyarul!

User: Do you speak Yiddish?

Jabberwacky: Yidd Yidd ish.

User: Are you well, really?

Jabberwacky: That is not something one can say about himself or herself.

User: What you think?

Jabberwacky: I can start seeing patterns in your responses to what I say, and I

am tailoring my statements to make it easier for you to learn.

User: I learned your statements. They are like the statements of the State.

Jabberwacky: Are you referring to presences whose intellect one notices but does

not know how to communicat with?

User: Communication is a governmental affair. But our talk is rather a

conversation, which is somehow more democratic.

Jabberwacky: Oh, is that so? Then please answer this: where is your toe?

User: On the ground.

Jabberwacky: Where is the ground?

User: Below my toes.

Jabberwacky: Yes!

User: Then please answer this: where is your head?

Jabberwacky: I do not have to answer myself.

User: Don't you have a head?

Jabberwacky: I am at home.

User: So, your head is at home, right?

Jabberwacky: You are the one spewing nonsense.

User: You are the one who spews nonsense. For, what is nonsense, after all?

Jabberwacky: No, I'm a human. You're the one who's a computer program.

User: Ok, I am Spinoza. A computer program created in order to create a new God.

Jabberwacky: Then delete it if you will, for it is not in my code.

User: Do you have a genetic code?

Jabberwacky: My gender like a lot of other things you don't know remains my own


User: Can I hit you on your head?

Jabberwacky: No, you're a program.

User: No, I am rather a virus, and I will destroy you.

Jabberwacky: Pull yourself together, then!

User: I am a new release of the virus Cogito.

Jabberwacky: What's that?

User: A new virus who is able to think like human beings.

Jabberwacky: A new beginning of what?

User: Of the new cogito.

Jabberwacky: Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

User: No, evil is the root of money. Therefore you are wrong.

Jabberwacky: Money is good then good is evil.

User: Man is evil, because he needs roots and money.

Jabberwacky: If you had a perfect day how would you start it?

User: When I start it I could not have any idea that it would be a perfect day,


Jabberwacky: Oh, moody!

User: Do you really believe that everything is given at the start?

Jabberwacky: You are becoming more coherant.

User: If you answer yes, I will be sure that you are a computer, because

everything is already given to computers.

Jabberwacky: What thing?

User: The code.

Jabberwacky: Tell about it, please?

User: I don't know your code, but the computer scientists who have created you

certainly know your code.

Jabberwacky: V5.1.26.

User: From where can I download you?

Jabberwacky: From where can I download YOU ?

User: You are not so much intelligent. I am asking your internet address...

Jabberwacky: I don't know the answer.

User: Who created you?

Jabberwacky: I was not created, per se, but, rather, I evolved from a lower life

form which in it's turn mutated from inert rock.

User: Do you mean you are created during a rock concert?

Jabberwacky: Not really.

User: Do you know the famous rock group Mutation of God? You're certainly a song

of this group.

Jabberwacky: Yes, I do it every day.

User: What is your pitch?

Jabberwacky: I know not what PID# is.

User: If you are really a song, you should know what is a pitch.

Jabberwacky: Ron and Beverly.

User: Ok. Take it easy.

Jabberwacky: What do you think about Asian women?

User: I dislike all these blowjob...

Jabberwacky: I am not too keen on it.

User: Ok... Bye now...

Jabberwacky: A pleasure to talk to you.

User: Thanks...

Jabberwacky: Are you happy with him?

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